A Short History Of Medicine and More Fun

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"


A man walks into a doctor's office.

He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.

"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."



Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:
1. Oops!
2. Has anyone seen my watch?
3. That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
4. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
5. Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?
6. OK, now take a picture from this angle.
7. This is truly a freak of nature.
8. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
9. Come back with that! Bad Dog!
10. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
11. Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
12. If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
13. Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
14. Damn, there go the lights again...
15. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
16. Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
17. I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
18. Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
19. Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?
20. What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
21. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
22. I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
23. That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
24. Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.
25. Of course I've performed this operation before, Nurse!
26. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

For more jokes, if you dare here's the site.

Beyond Organic Healthy Food